


Lonely Nights

by AdorabloodthirstyKitty



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-08 16:01:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorabloodthirstyKitty/pseuds/AdorabloodthirstyKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sappy pining gamzee</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely Nights

**Author's Note:**

> for my tavvy. all of these words are for you, dear. I love you so much it hurts

_You know I'm such a fool for you_

_You got me wrapped around your finger_

_Do you have to, do you have to let it linger?_

You give a sad smile when he goes offline, the little green dot by his name suddenly disappearing as if it had never been there at all. Your shoulders slump and you close Skype, not having any reason to be on besides seeing his words fill the screen, and occasionally getting a glimpse of that face, that perfect, adorable, angelic face that makes your heart stutter and your chest swell. You're left alone in the darkness of your room, curled up in a bed too empty, the space too quiet. You'd give anything to be with him now, to turn and find him smiling sleepily at you from under the covers. You sigh at the thought, heart clenching painfully in your chest, throat threatening to close up as you feel the sensation of tears starting to form, but you don't let them.

You should be used to the loneliness by now.

You try to distract yourself, going on other sites that usually hold your interest for hours at a time, but nothing seems to lessen the pressure in your chest. You find yourself checking your notifications, hoping for his name to pop up, to greet you with his familiar typing pattern, but nothing comes. You pretend you're not desperately wishing he didn't have to sleep, to get up and face the cruelty of the world that still hasn't gotten it's claws in him, the world too dark and cold for the light that shines from his perfect, beautiful soul. He's an angel, the closest to perfect anything could ever wish to be, and you desperately wish he could see it. See how strong he is when he faces sharp eyes and cold words, doesn't give up no matter what. You wish you were half as strong as him, half as beautiful, amazing, perfect. You don't have a vocabulary big enough to express how wonderful he is, how much you love him. Whenever you try it never seems like enough. You're still amazed that he offers you any of his time, that he writes sweet words that make your heart clench and your face light up in the happiest of grins. Sometimes you grin so much your face hurts; just thinking about him sends butterflies to your belly and a dopey smile to your face. You remember mentioning him when you were alone with your parents, your dad not noticing the butterflies, the way you tried to act nonchalant.  Your mother knew though. She was always able to see right through you, always paying more attention.  She mentioned something, referring to the miracles up in the sheets and your face went dark as you sputtered out it wasn't like that, and she apologized. But she knew by the color in your cheeks and the stuttered gibberish that your flustered mouth spewed. She knew you liked him but didn't say anything, pulling you aside later on and telling you to be careful. You still don't know if the old man knows. Probably not. Even when he's under the same roof he's too busy to care, too caught up in other things to notice the grins you try to hide, the fact that you're happier than you'd been in a while.

But now, in the darkness of your bedroom, you're miserable. You wish you could sleep but you can't, never feeling at ease in the big quiet house you reside in. You can never fall asleep until you're too exhausted to keep your eyes open, crashing when the light of morning creeps in from around the blinds like a fog. You hate it. These lonely hours when your dad and brother sleep soundly while you're still awake, listening to the sounds of the house, the neighborhood. Kurloz teases you sometimes for your sleeping schedule, or tries to tell you to sleep at a more normal time but you never listen. Maybe one of these days, but not tonight. It's nice that he cares enough to say something though.

You sigh again, looking to the time. 3:27 am. You roll your sore neck and shoulders and head to the living room to find something to watch. There's not a lot this time of night but this is usually the perfect time for bad scary movies. You can never get enough of that shit. You flip through the guide and put one on, hoping to distract yourself until you can't keep your eyes open, but your mind still drifts. You think of that short shock of brown hair, those big bright eyes and find yourself grinning again before forcing yourself to watch the movie, to pay attention to that instead of the ache of loneliness that twists at your heartstrings unpleasantly.

After a couple movies you look to the time and head back to bed, hoping to sleep a couple hours. Maybe you'll get up and do something today. Probably not, but there's always a chance. Maybe hang with Kar, get yourself some fresh air. You crawl under the covers, waking your tablet to check for any notifications when you see a new message from that one person that turns your insides to goo. You open up Skype and read over the cheery message, surprised that he'd be up so early, sunlight streaming in your room through the cracks in the curtains. You read over the messages as they appear on your screen.

mORNING gAMZ

uH, iF YOU'RE UP, tHAT IS,

dID YOU SLEEP WELL?

You grin, your heart fluttering in that way that leaves you amazed you haven't died of a cutie-induced heart attack. He is too damn precious. You tap out a response, grinning at your screen as you start another conversation that will probably last throughout the day. You forget about your exhaustion completely, getting lost in the sweet words of the person you adore.

 


End file.
